To the sucker I shall someday call my partner in life

With the loss of my nephew, it was important for me to put my family first this summer cause we were going through an emotional roller coaster together but now that I’ve sort of found my new normal, I’ve discovered I wanted to have fun again.

One of my challenges on my summer to-do list was to try a new app. Never would I have thought I would download a matchmaking mobile app. Tinder connects with users’ Facebook profiles to provide pictures and ages for other users to view. My bestie, Dr Diva forced me to install this app and here I am being shallow swiping away a whole lot of pictures.

1399716_542543109163427_1640487571_o[1]I’ve always kept my dating life a secret to my family. Not because they’d disapprove anyone I’d date but it’s more because I don’t want them to get attached to the guy and vice versa.

Now the ratio as to how many men who ask me out I say yes to, unless I’m (seriously or not) seeing someone, has been about 99%. While you’re rolling your eyes hearing the slag alarm in your head, I need to point out that not a lot of guys have asked me out. I don’t know if it’s cause I’ve grown up surrounded by men but I feel it takes so much courage for someone to come up and ask me out, I just wouldn’t say no.

Why it hasn’t worked out? I can honestly say that it’s partially because of my personality. The enneagram of personality was recently brought to my attention and I’m mostly #5: an observer/overthinker/analyst. The bad news is that my main flaw is my non-attachment. The good news however, is that even though I’m mostly a 5, I also happen to have lots of other characteristics of other numbers which means there’s still hope.

To my future love, I’m not bad partner material. But since I overthink everything, I shall already apologize to you for overanalyzing everything: it’s not my fault, it’s just my personality! Before you win me over, you’ll have to have so much patience even Buddha would wonder why. However, the day my heart will win the war against my stubborn head, will be the same day I realize you’re the poor sucker I want to spend my life with. I promise to try my hardest to be worthy to be your life partner and who knows, I might read this out loud someday as my vow to you.

And if by any chance, my family’s reading this, don’t bother trying to hook me up to anyone!!! You know how much I hate that and I’ll make sure I put you to shame by giving my best bad daughter/sister/niece/cousin image. And you know this warning’s effective cause I’m capable of bringing down your image too. On paper and in theory, I’ve dated husband material. But in practice, my heart will be the only judge as to who I’ll spend my life with and to my knowledge, I don’t think I’ve met him yet. So please give me a couple of years and someday your patience shall be rewarded with some grandchildren or nieces and nephews.

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